Wednesday, 29 May 2013

I lost a friend forever

He finally left me.  This is day one.  The pain is unbearable, but i deserved it.  He had felt this for months on end without respite and i did not help to relief his pain.  I had added to it. now i taste the pain, the heart beats ceaselessly, i can feel the beat with the raw pain squeezing.  O how i deserve this - its the first night - how many more to go.  Drink it - its your turn.

Sunday, 26 May 2013

CALLING

The Year 2013 is a year of the Calling.

10 Feb - CNY emotional crisis, 
29 Mar - 7-up battle of the flesh crisis  
26 April - 哥哥病了, 
23 May - Twisted Bike Alive in Christ
24 May - 7-up booted out
25 May - Calling - the needy beckons, the full is made to feel the burden, rise up!

I re-read the book The Breaking of the Outward Man for The Release of the Spirit by Brother Watchman Nee.  Whenever i become interested in reading a book, i find that that book always poinst me to recent events that occur in my life.  Its like practical before theory.  God has dealt with me this way many times i've noted. But i've been running in a circle - repeating the same lesson.  Maybe this is the way of the Christian walk - God keeps putting you through the same situation albeit in different scenarios until you tweak yourself and attuned yourself to HIS way.  So stop fretting and complaining.  Submit and die to your useless and foolish self  - carry your cross - and follow Lord Jesus.

The Alabaster jar must be broken for the fragrance to be released.  Dear Christian, desire the fragrance in the jar, do not admire the jar.

The Holy Spirit has not ceased working.  He makes sure one event after another and one difficulty after another come to you to break your outward man.  Look at what's happening to you - the events as they unfold in your life - if you see carefully, you will know what is the Lord's mind or intention for your life.  Do not define the things that come to your life as good or bad - everything that comes into your life can be meaningful and are for your highest good.  Work with the Lord, work with the Lord.  Bend to His yoke, take it with gratitude, receive with a willing heart upon yourself - it is light and easy!!  Just believe, bend!!  To resist is to complain, to fret, to feel down, to feel discouraged - all such negative feelings.  Watch your natural response - be on guard.  The Lord commanded and repeated that we are to rejoice always.  Time is precious, don't waste time.


Saturday, 25 May 2013

ACCIDENT

 i had a head-on collision recently.  i drove my bicycle into an oncoming car.  No, i was not suicidal, i was sure the road was clear before i headed out to cross over to the opposite side of the road.  As the collision was about to happen, i turned my bike just a little sideways which may have been, by the grace of God, the action that saved me.  When i was very certain i was going to be hit (this time!!) i waited for the 'bang' to come.  It came, my bike was dragged away by the vehicle from under me, the impact had me lifted up and plonked down quite at the spot near to the point of collision.  There were passers by nearby and they were more shocked than i was!  i picked myself up from the road, walked over to my front wheel mangled bike and received with grateful thanks all the concerns from the strangers.  The ashen faced driver came over, i told him i was at fault and that i was ok and he scooted!

i thought to myself - why had the Lord allowed this event in my life.  No answer yet.

i am thankful to God that i'm alive and well.  i am also thankful that i was not traumatized - i got the wheel fixed and started cycling the same day.

Praise God!.  Because HE is so so so great but HE loves me and cares for me.