I FAILED MY DRIVING TEST AGAIN

Aiya, i failed my driving test again.  The result was out before i even took the test - GOD knew the outcome, He is the Alpha and the Omega.  So He knew i was going to fail.  He could have removed every obstacle to my passing, but He didnt.  The time is not yet come.  So be it - as long as it pleases HIM.  He is not frivolous with us, He cares deeply for us.  He is awesome!!  HIS will be done.

BROKENNESS

It has begun to dawn on me that the life of a christian is one of suffering.  My 11 year journey as a christian - with the many testings and trials in everyday life - has caused me to draw this conclusion. 

We are really living in the end times.  There is great deception.  Most christians wouldn't agree that suffering is the lot of a modern christian - but blessings that satisfy the lust of the flesh is the way to go.  I am becoming wary that i am much brainwashed to accept a lot of twisted values.  One of which is the ME worship.  My career, my personal development, my privacy, my rights, me me me. 

I am tired of me.  As i awaken and begin to not ME so much, i feel something stirring in my spirits.  I begin the see the Hand of God shaping my character - that He really arranges or allow things to mould me for HIS glorious work.  I have failed to make sense life, now i let Him show me what life i really about

The World is a Hateful Place

I hate this world.  Every pursuit is meaningless.  Everything i do is distasteful to me.  Pleasure seemed pleasurable at its doing, but at night fall, in bed awaiting sleep - it all returns, a dreary emptiness.  The next day the cycle begins.

But it is a good kind of hopelessness.  It is the evidence of the life saving grace of God.  Calling His child to come out from the world and turn to His Christ, the Savior, the Redeemer, the True Life.

You will not understand, one who does not know Him, even if he possessed the most briliant of mind, cannot fathom anything of The OTHER.  But HE reserved such wisdom for those who fear HIM, even if they be of inferior intelligence like i.  So i continue on - the daily grind awaiting His Truth that make sense of all that i am going through.

Meantime, I am in the eye of a hurricane.  This world is like a hurricane - not of forceful destructive winds but worse - it is a hurricane of senseless and mindless pursuits of the flesh that never satisfies, it swirls without end till suddenly it stops and everything comes to a standstill and there is nothing but destruction and a deep sense of loss.  Then it starts again.  The next shopping escapade, the next overseas trip, the next expensive meal, the next promotion, the next relationship, the next movie, on and on.

Sickening.  Life draining.  Empty.  This is Life on Earth.  And it just make the world a hateful place to me.

Re-Programming

Frangipani - Biddadari

I see a friend, always careful - too careful sometimes.  And that is how it is with him.  It defines him, what he will do, how it will be done - and it confines him.

Then i look at myself, less careful but not given to abandon however still confined in the way i defined how things should be. 

See, how we define our lives.  Habitual behaviors - rigid, abandon, wanton, creative, adaptive and what have you - it all defines oneself and ultimately - it defines somewhat our lives.

At times i wished i am careful like my friend and at times i wished i live with more abandon - but it is my habitual behavior that drives me.

Perhaps time to change - as life draws closer and closer to the destination - to live now, with careful abandon......

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Jesus Christ, Matthew 6:34

Opposition Rally

i went to the spp rally on saturday.  the spp keeps harping on the 27 years they have served the people but nothing concrete about party plans and strategy.  it is clear to the discerning that their strategy is to work out the emotions of the people.  frankly, if pap had been serving at potong pasir, the community would have enjoyed better services and faster, albeit with the absence of chiam see tong's heartfelt sincerity and humility - which is his winning formulae, something which pap was not able to imitate or has failed thus far.  but the residents of pp are after more than just services - they want someone to speak up for them.  but the candidate of choice's ability is suspect.  she is hardly able to express herself - stumbling over her words.  how can she stand up to seasoned ministers.  how merciless the hand that pushes her into the lion's den.   

as i watched the spectacle on stage, i begin to ponder if an opposition manages to secure a GRC can they manage the running of the constituent and how do they compare to pap.  Again, will their voice in parliament have a positive and beneficial impact for the country or will they become a stumbling block.  if they failed in both, then the opposition parties has proven themselves quite dispensible but if they can make a significant impact to better the lifes of citizens, then this may hint of the opposition's coming of age - though there is hardly a hint of it in the rally i witnessed.  on the contrary, considering mr. chiam's frailty, i wonder at the future of spp.

Chiam See Tong - he is a gem indeed.  he exudes that kampong charm that is inherent in many of our 'old guard' politicians like presidents Benjamin Sheares and Wee Kim Wee.  we had so many laughs over his sometimes slurry recount of how his O level results were scrutinized by pap when he first entered politics and was ridiculed about his inferior academic perfomance.  Mr. Chiam is no pushover and he quietly and rose to the occasion and birthed that spirit of defiance which rubbed off on the residents of pp.  Odes to mr. chiam.

Elderly Health Checklist

Prepare a health care checklist and how to for the elderly
Be an ambassador for elderly health matters
Take every given opportunity to talk about what you learn
Walk the talk, live it, be a testimony.
Work on:

• AMD
• Hearing
• High blood pressure
• Excercise for a healthy body
• Diet
• Mental Health
• Emotional Health
• Immunity in the old

Love is not like this

When a parent emotionally attacks his own mercilessly - how can one reconcile to the fact that the greatest love are the love of parents?

Truly only God is able to love righteously. For who has loved His enemies so much that a Son was sacrificed to save those same enemies.

It is hurtful to think that a human being becomes something less than material things. Our well being is not more important than a beautiful vase, in fact, our well being should be trampled on because we broke a vase.
I have no regrets the vase is broken. It make me see so clearly that man is not to be trusted, even those who professes that they love you and who are deemed closest to you.

Only God can be trusted.