Wisdom in the Morning

Of late, on some mornings as i awoke - i sensed wisdom coming to me.

Today it was- "do not overwork your eyes - give it rest and it will serve you well and longer. "

It is very simple wisdom - it is insight and not head knowledge or rational, but a depositing into my being. It just welled up in me. Like a voice coming forth. It "spoke" to me, knowing that i had worked my eyes hard of late. It did not occur to me that my eyes needed rest. SOMEONE is taking good care of me. The Eternal One is taking care of me......

Now i shall rest. I look forward to the morning - to that transcending sense of life coming upon me. Bless the Almighty for He is good.

It Needs Faith to Cycle

I love road cycling. I love the thrill of cycling alongside vehicles. I also know the danger of road cycling - i have enough close shaves to realize how flimsy a cyclist's life can become.

Hence my title - it needs faith to cycle - on crowded Singapore roads that is. I always pray for journey mercy before i hit the road. As i cycle along, i remind myself that not i but He protects me. I can be the most careful cyclist - but well people get killed crossing the road at the traffic junctions - we're just not in control.

A seasoned cyclist without hearing problems will know if a big vehicle is coming up very quickly from behind her - she can feel the road tremble and when it speeds by, her bike goes into a jiggle. In moments like this, i steady my hands, cycle real straight and pray. There are buses that come so close i'm really amazed that nothing happens.

It really needs faith to cycle.

Being

I must remind myself time and again that i am me, i have a personality. However, do i really know who i am- or am i just a mix of what i want to be plus what i pretend to be plus what i really am?

In our Asian society, we have many roles to play - many times in order to play those roles, there is a need to suppress ourselves - to not be ourselves because it is sometimes rude and sometimes offensive to others. On another front, mass media has a way of sometimes impressing on me a trait of someone i'm not but i wish i was. Like how i wish i was the Drew Barrymore lyricist character in the movie Way Back Into Love. Her lips were just dripping with words that tugs at your heart. I like those moments when i sometimes say something in my head that just zapped me - i felt inspired by the mere stringing of some simple words. But those are really rare moments - a fluke.

Its strange that i have to remind myself that i'm not always me. Being is sometimes a funny thing.

How Some Get It Made In Life

I observed that throughout my life, for many people in my society the end result is more important than the process. For example, when i was doing my diploma in IT program, most of my classmates are very concern with getting pass rates and not so much with learning.

Along with our assignments, my school lecturers would give out the model answers in the form of 'skeleton' programs and students fill in aesthetic elements to give some meat to their projects. In this way, the project is somewhat done for them. Repeat this through the diploma program and voila, they are awarded their diploma.

A certain student admitted as much that to secure the diploma is more important than learning. With a Diploma you can work toward attaining a degree, with a degree you can look forward to a higher paying job. The true value of that certificate is that ideal job, better salary, better title, yada yada yada but not the learning, the understanding and the enjoyment of the process of learning.

Its not strange that my lecturer of C programming couldn't debug a simple program that she wrote which stalled our lesson. For what she is not able to deliver, she gets a job in a foreign country with a nice title of a lecturer and earns i would think, quite a decent salary. The school - being able to supply lectures through such lecturers - is then able to sell diploma and degree programs that earns them big dollars.

At work, its the same. Don't be too efficient - you will have more to do. Mediocrity equates less work, less expectations, less stress with the same good pay, bonus, title, etc.

These days, people have become so afraid to live hard it seems - effort is taboo, leisure is better.

What is the whole point of life really - just going through the motion? Alive and yet not living - just coasting. I observed there are many who gets high pay but yet do so little and expect year end bonuses, annual increments, better perks and what have you. A number are in positions to shape organisations, cultivate the next generation, give back to society. Many of these are "highly educated".

So how to get it made in life - do what some did, get that Degree at all costs.

Life at its best starts at 40

Life at its best starts at 40 for me because by this age, i've struggled and realized that after trying hard to get where I want to be, being there, that's none of the satisfied feeling. As i look back, i realized that for what i've 'achieved', i've lost precious time that i could have used for learning a language like Japanese, interests like sewing, building my web page, etc - which if i had done that, i may be able to read a Japanese book and converse in simple Japanese, sewn my own dresses, have my own web page which by today would have contained so much information that i could share with the world. And all this would be the real and tangible treasures i now possessed. Looking back, i should have spend less time being such a perfectionist over my work, spend less money on power dress, not pursue that IT program, etc. I find that i do not enjoy the fruits of these labours. Well, it's all water under the bridge now, learnt my lesson, and now i'm really starting to enjoy my existence.